You’re Not Wrong – Just Different.

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My poor mother swears I’ve always been a hellraiser and, while I guess I probably participated in my fair share of shenanigans as a kid, I really was never much of a rebellious type. I wanted to fit in with the cool kids, or keep to myself. I was either dressing like everyone else and trying to please the crowd, or hiding in a corner with my nose in a book (quote often, my second or third book that day).

Raising hell was not in my arsenal of weapons. 

As I found myself in my college years, a new mother and wife instead of a college student, I started rebelling against society in a number of ways I never expected. I looked around and saw things differently than anyone I knew. I saw, from being raised by a large handful of very different people, that there are very few absolute answers in this world…but lots of opinions and perspectives. I saw that compassion is a wondrous thing. I saw that combining the realization that my truth isn’t going to equal someone else’s truth with the act of compassion changes relationships for the better.

Ten years later, few things offend me. I don’t like being told I don’t have a job (I don’t have a boss – huge difference. Anyone who thinks I don’t have a job is free KMA). I don’t like being told I’m nearly thirty – not because 30 is old, but because I want to enjoy every year I have and not rush myself past two more years. But, most of all, I get a little offended (unintentionally) when people tell me I’m wrong.

Unless we’re talking about a matter of fact, like mathematics or scientifically backed data, much of life really is about perspective. Just because I disagree with my dad about the role of the military and police in the world doesn’t mean I’m wrong, or that he’s wrong, it just means we have different opinions. These opinions have different outcomes, one of which is okay with him and one of which is okay with me. All this means is that neither of us would like to live in the other’s view of how things should be. Big, big difference from either of us being outright wrong. 

If your best friend thinks Journey is the best band in the entire world (They are, by the way :P), and you think The Rollingstones are the best band in the entire world, are either of you wrong? No. You have a difference of opinion. When I went vegetarian and everyone I know suddenly attacked me for not eating meat, was I wrong? No. It was my opinion that I shouldn’t eat meat. It was their opinion that they should eat meat. Neither actually had anything to do with the other.

I’m writing this to challenge you to look at the conflict around your life – your inner hostility, worries, concerns, arguments, etc. How much of those are based around matters of opinion? 

Comments

  1. I think this is something that comes with, well, not so much with age, but with experience. Isn’t it? I think of me ten years ago in comparison to how I am now, and I was so opinionated I cringe at times when I think of it! These days, I figure everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I love discussing, well, pretty much anything with my friends when we have differing opinions, because it’s great to get an insight into the whys and wherefores of the other side of the coin to me. It won’t necessarily change my mind, but it opens up a whole new side of understanding.
    Marylin recently posted…We hate short shorts!My Profile

  2. This is so true. The great thing is learning for each other and understanding why people may have a different opinion then you do. I love it when someone makes me “think” and talks to me in a grown up matter that isn’t hateful or attacking my views. I’ve really learned not to be judgmental of others and let them live their lives, because that’s how I’d like to be treated as well. It’s hard sometimes not to get upset about some things but I always remind myself that I’m not alone. There are a lot of people in the world that share the same views as mine.
    Jessie {My Mod Style} recently posted…32 Things Before 32 // #3 Learn to KnitMy Profile

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