You’re Not Wrong – Just Different.

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My poor mother swears I’ve always been a hellraiser and, while I guess I probably participated in my fair share of shenanigans as a kid, I really was never much of a rebellious type. I wanted to fit in with the cool kids, or keep to myself. I was either dressing like everyone else and trying to please the crowd, or hiding in a corner with my nose in a book (quote often, my second or third book that day).

Raising hell was not in my arsenal of weapons. 

As I found myself in my college years, a new mother and wife instead of a college student, I started rebelling against society in a number of ways I never expected. I looked around and saw things differently than anyone I knew. I saw, from being raised by a large handful of very different people, that there are very few absolute answers in this world…but lots of opinions and perspectives. I saw that compassion is a wondrous thing. I saw that combining the realization that my truth isn’t going to equal someone else’s truth with the act of compassion changes relationships for the better.

Ten years later, few things offend me. I don’t like being told I don’t have a job (I don’t have a boss – huge difference. Anyone who thinks I don’t have a job is free KMA). I don’t like being told I’m nearly thirty – not because 30 is old, but because I want to enjoy every year I have and not rush myself past two more years. But, most of all, I get a little offended (unintentionally) when people tell me I’m wrong.

Unless we’re talking about a matter of fact, like mathematics or scientifically backed data, much of life really is about perspective. Just because I disagree with my dad about the role of the military and police in the world doesn’t mean I’m wrong, or that he’s wrong, it just means we have different opinions. These opinions have different outcomes, one of which is okay with him and one of which is okay with me. All this means is that neither of us would like to live in the other’s view of how things should be. Big, big difference from either of us being outright wrong. 

If your best friend thinks Journey is the best band in the entire world (They are, by the way :P), and you think The Rollingstones are the best band in the entire world, are either of you wrong? No. You have a difference of opinion. When I went vegetarian and everyone I know suddenly attacked me for not eating meat, was I wrong? No. It was my opinion that I shouldn’t eat meat. It was their opinion that they should eat meat. Neither actually had anything to do with the other.

I’m writing this to challenge you to look at the conflict around your life – your inner hostility, worries, concerns, arguments, etc. How much of those are based around matters of opinion? 

Posts of the….Month?

Alright, alright…I’m a little behind. Finals, pneumonia, and bouquets got the best of me and I have a lot of catching up to do. I’ll have an amazing Ecocentric Mom box coming up, and a few reviews, along with some great eco-friendly tips and tutorials!  For now, here’s my gathering of some of my favorite posts over the last few weeks! Per usual, I claim no ownership of the photos or material – just click the links to get to the posts!

Finding Your Best Creative Time, via SillyGrrl

Yoga Etiquette, via Taking Notes, Coast to Coast

[Read more...]

Little Letters #23

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Welcome to this week’s Little Letters Link-Up! You can join in on the fun with The Freckled Fox at the bottom of this post – share your Little Letters, too!

Dear Nivea Cherry-Tinted Lip Balm, ‘Tinted’ my tush. You are red. You are red, and my daughter loves you.

Dear ‘Clueless’, You sporadically showed up on my television screen and introduced my daughter to the ridiculousness that was my childhood. I don’t know whether to thank you for that nostalgic bonding moment or hate you for submitting me to my daughter’s ‘what is this!?’ torture.

Dear Wedding Season, Thank you for the abundance of beautiful, amazing brides. I thoroughly enjoy making eco-friendly bouquets and wedding decor, and wedding season makes me a happy camper.

Dear Ninja, When did you start talking so much? And with such sass?!

Dear Baby Shower, Holy jeez, you’re coming along quickly! Lots of projects, so little time!

Dear Popsicle Sticks, Thank you for being so simple and yet making my children so happy.

Dear Minnesota, Thank you for joining the fight. <3 Personal beliefs aside, it’s incredibly cool to watch such a revolutionary movement take place during my lifetime. I believe that, in 50 years, this will be looked upon similarly to the rights movements in the 60′s.

Dear Summer, Thank you for finally finding me. I promise to enjoy you to the fullest.


Relenquishing My Inner Chicken-Shit

Shai Smith, Vagabond Shai

I’ve always considered myself an adventurous kind of girl. I love motorcycles and hiking, and would cartwheel my way out of a flying airplane if given the opportunity (and a couple of cartwheel lessons. I said I’m adventurous, not graceful!). In high school and my early adulthood, I found myself in relationships with the stereotypical ’bad boys’, acquired more tattoos and piercings than I care to admit, and often has fushia or teal colored hair. I like challenges, and love adrenaline, so I always thought that I could pretty much do whatever I set my mind to doing. Then, I found myself in a college class called Human Communications.

I’m a social being, so ‘human communications’ seemed like it would be a breeze. First couple days of class, we had to stand up in front of the other students and give a presentation about ourselves. I’m interesting, right? I can talk to complete strangers, even. No problem! Right about the time the class quietened down, I found myself standing in front of 199 of my peers completely unable to talk. I pictured them all with my daughter’s face. I pictured them all naked. I pictured them not there at all. I immediately ran out of the room, in tears. Needless to say, I withdrew from that class and never looked back.

Three years and a change in majors later, I find myself in the final leg of a Political and Social Philosophy degree with a minor in Peace Studies. Everyone who reads this nifty little blog knows that peace is just my thing – I love helping people, talking to people, and want to spread peace-waging skills throughout the world. The problem? Public speaking. So, last year I challenged myself to relinquish my inner chicken shit (as my dear mom so eloquently puts it), and speak publicly more often, and I’ve done it! I’ve given talks on the concept of negative versus positive peace, sustainability, and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. I was invited to speak to a university’s communications department about social media/blogging, and to share my success story. And, this summer, I’ve been invited to take my fear and grab it by the horns.

One of the major peace organizations, the Nuclear Age Peace Foundation, holds a week-long workshop in Santa Barbara, California during the summer. The Universe, with it’s great sense of humor, saw fit that I be selected to attend this incredible opportunity. The main focus of the training? Peace leadership skills and public speaking for peace. This is huge, ya’ll. This means I won’t have an excuse to hide behind my ‘Free Hugs, No Race Check’ sign next time I face off against the KKK and Nazi party at a protest. This means I won’t have a reason to set up other speakers to share the skills of waging peace with my classmates or Atlanta-based organizations. This means I won’t have a reason to say ‘Nah, I could never do that!’ when asked to speak at a peace conference. I’ll be trained to do so, with a certification that says ‘Hey chicken-shit! You can do this. So, go do it!’.

So, I’m going. I’m going to get on an airplane and fly all the way across the country. Room and board are paid for, and I’m working on airfare. Done. I will face my fear, and I will come home to a full-schedule of speaking engagements throughout the Fall that I’ve already set up – you know…just to make sure I don’t back out.

If I can ride a motorcycle down a curvy mountain road at higher speeds than I care to admit without fearing for my life, I can stand in front of a room of strangers and teach them how to wage peace in their communities to make the world a better place. Somebody’s gotta do it, and it’s gonna be me.

 

 


This post is part of the My Fearful Adventure series, which is celebrating the launch of Torre DeRoche’s debut book Love with a Chance of Drowning, a true adventure story about one girl’s leap into the deep end of her fears.

“Wow, what a book. Exciting. Dramatic. Honest. Torre DeRoche is an author to follow.” Australian Associated Press

“… a story about conquering the fears that keep you from living your dreams.” Nomadicmatt.com

“In her debut, DeRoche has penned such a beautiful, thrilling story you’ll have to remind yourself it’s not fiction.” Courier Mail

Find out more…


When It Rains, It Pours!

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Have you ever had one of those weeks that made you want to check out of life for awhile and just lock yourself in a cabin on a pretty mountain? That would be this week for me.

I started off last weekend super excited, because I had an entirely ‘free’ weekend to do whatever the hell I wanted. And, ‘whatever the hell I wanted’ included a rare appearance at a gathering with a friend, a study group, and dinner, all mixed in with lots of studying and paper writing for finals this week. Then, I woke up Saturday with the flu. I couldn’t breathe or swallow, and had zero energy. I skipped all of my plans to stay in bed and work on homework in between naps, and got very, very little done. I stayed up until 3am almost every night this week studying while trying to write papers, and every night was interrupted with chaos, or sickness, or kids who couldn’t sleep. I was stressed to the max about a final exam, which I had to take yesterday, as well as stressed about a few bouquets I need to finish.  Also yesterday, my car broke down and left me stranded and then, shortly after I finally got home (with a borrowed car, as my is now in the shop), Ninja woke up vomiting so much that I had to pack up the kids and spend the night in the ER. So now I have a sick toddler, a broken car, am up to my ears in work, and the flu has developed into pneumonia.

You know what this means? This means that sometimes, when you have eight hundred things on your plate, life decides to smack you in the face and say ‘Hey Lady…slow down a little!’. 

I can normally handle all of the above with a smile on my face, though I would probably be a tad stressed. And, last night as I got the kids dressed to head to the ER, I really just threw my hands up and laughed, saying ‘Really?! Only me…’. I’ve had so much going on over the past few weeks that I let myself go. I’ve quit numerous unhealthy habits over the last five months, but didn’t keep up with the good habits. I wasn’t getting anywhere near enough sleep, or eating often enough. I felt like I could just keep rolling and take on the world.

And, I can take on the world. I just need to make sure to take care of me, as well. 

Thank you, Dear Universe, for this little wake-up call!

Has the world ever given you a wake-up call?